MURPHY’S CHURCH LAW
1. When the Deacons talk about improving the church’s spiritual life, they are never talking about their own.
2. In a committee meeting, the authority of a person is inversely proportional to the number of pens that person is carrying.
3. There will always be empty soft drink cans rolling on the floorboard of your car when your head deacon/elder asks for a ride home from church.
4. You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard, a camera, or a Bible.
5. Everything can be filed under “miscellaneous.”
6. Never delay the ending of a meeting or the beginning of a fellowship activity involving food.
7. Any church employee can do any amount of work provided it isn’t the work he/she has been assigned to do.
8. Any great Sermon that contains no errors will develop errors when transmitted to your printer.
9. After any salary raise, you will have less money at the end of the month than you did before.
10. When you don’t know what to do, walk fast and look worried.
11. Following the rules will not get the job done.
12. Getting the job done is no excuse for not following the rules.
13. A Youth Pastor with a clean desk has way too much free time.
14. The last person that quit or was fired will be blamed for everything that goes wrong for at least a year.
(From Sermon Fodder Christian Humor. To subscribe go to drop an email note to Sermon_Fodder-subscribe@yahoogroups.com.)
