Things Overheard at a Wal-Mart Wedding
15. Sorry, the flower truck is running late this morning. However, we did manage to pull some garnish out of the vegetable cooler to spiff things up a bit.
14> Yes, the lady in jewelry says it’s certified 10 carat cubic Zirconia.
13> Yeah, I figured during the wedding I’d take advantage of the 15 minute $12.95 oil change special. Plus, my cousins can’t trash the car while it’s up on the rack.
12> I need a member of management to hardware to act as best man, please.
11>”Tradition or not, buddy, you broke that glass and you’re gonna pay for it.”
10> We’re out of napkins. Can someone run back to the paper products isle and pick up some paper towels?
9> “Pre-nup in aisle seven!”
8> I just checked the registry list. We’re in luck. The lawn mower is still on there and the guy in Lawn and Garden says it’s on sale through tomorrow.
7> Why wouldn’t her smock qualify as “something blue?” And it offers such a nice contrast to her white dress.
6> We need to hurry the reception line along here, it’s about shift change time for the Official Wal Mart Greeter.
5> “If that creepy yellow smiley face comes by one more time, I swear I’m going over to sporting goods to buy some ammo.”
4> “I’m sorry, miss, but shoplifting an iPod does not qualify as your ‘something borrowed.'”
3> “Great — we finally get the entire wedding party crammed into the photo machine, and Bubba runs out of quarters!”
2> No, it’s just that I’ve never seen a tux done in Real-Tree cammo. Awesome.
and Topfive.com’s Number 1 Thing Overheard at a Wal-Mart Wedding…
1> Your Attention Puh-leeze! Bouquet Toss on isle 7 in five minutes.
From the Sermon Fodder List Creative Services Department with help from Chris and the folks at top5.com. Please be advised that top 5 sometimes posts items that are “R” rated or higher.
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